if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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