I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
