Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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