guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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