I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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