broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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