is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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