47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
