last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
