Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
