On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
