Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
