I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We are all done wearing pants today
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize