I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
