I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
