gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
