When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
