I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
