Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
