Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Houston, we have a blender
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
