he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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