The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
