I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
