Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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