I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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