Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
