Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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