If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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