This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
