people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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