Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
