Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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