hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My vagina is officially offended.
Come share oat with me in your robe
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
