The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
