You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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