apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
