Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
