Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
