apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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