so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize