Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
