mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
