Apparently you make a good broom.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize