Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
