u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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