you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
