Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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