Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize