we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
