I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
