just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm always down for nudity.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
