i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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