So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize