There was a lot of him and a little penis
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
