My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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