I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
