i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
