Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just pee around me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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