Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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