Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
