how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
