i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
