is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
