we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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