So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my liver is dry heaving
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
