the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Girls should come with a carfax report
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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